The Birth of an Explorer

Ahh…the miracle of birth.  Nothing soothes a baby more than waking up to blinding light, with blood specks splattered on its face and an unrecognizeable asian woman looking down at it.  What am I, a hobo in a Chinatown alley? (*taps mic* Testing, testing)

Hey it’s Professor Oak!  What is he doing here?  He just stumbles into nursing rooms and blurts out that question?  Poor guy has taken too many thundershocks to the head.  For Arceus’ sake, he can’t even remember his own grandsons name!

Hmm, judging from the floating green text, this man appears to be my Dad.  Also I seem to be in some kinda room of scientific study, what with the computer equipment, random pipes, and overall metallic surrounding.  Boy I’m pretty self-aware for a baby.  Breast-feeding’s going to be awkward.  Also my dad is pretty frickin’ scary.  The eyes…there’s something not right about the eyes.

So like I mentioned in my first post, I wanted to create a character that was an explorer.  My real-life name is Chris, so I figured I’d base my character off of the explorer Christopher Columbus.  And by “base,” I mean “share the same name as and maybe vaguely look like.”  My character isn’t going to be speaking Italian or claiming things as India.  Another thing, I’m sorry my mouse is right in the middle of the screenshot.  I’m pretty dumb when it comes to those kind of things.  A lot of things actually.  Thank God this blog has spellcheck.

Well that’s convenient.  Wish we had something like that in the real world, that way we wouldn’t have to suffer under the likes of Jocelyn Wildenstein or Rosie O’Donnell.  Yeah I don’t know who the first lady is either, I just looked up “ugliest celebrities” and she was the first one to pop up.  I chose Rosie O’Donnell because c’mon, it’s Rosie.

Anyways, awful celebrity jabs aside, what exactly am I going to look like?  A hunk?  A punk?  A chunk?  A slam dunk?  What’s going on?  Moving on.

GAH!  Who’s this dweeb?  No way that’s me.  He looks like a young Conan O’Brian.  I need to be somebody who’s ready for adventure, not the next late-night talk show.

Now that’s what I’m talking about.  Big eyes to find adventure,  sharp nose to smell adventure, and golden locks to….adventure with.  This is one explorer who’s going to get into some crazy situations.

A WASTELAND EXPLORER EXTRAORDINAIRE!!!!!!!

 

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